Intimacy Must Be Built – And It doesn't Always Come Easy

What is intimacy?

Intimacy builds over time as you connect with someone else, care for each other and become more and more comfortable with each other. There are several different intimacies – emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual, which can be all tied up together. 

The tricky thing about intimacy is that it is connected with many primary emotions, such as trust and safety. When you are opening yourself up, you have to trust that the person you are with will receive them well. When we share details about our life that usually remain hidden, we are connecting in an intimate way.

This emotional intimacy helps stimulate oxytocin (aka the love hormone), which in turn allows us to trust and be more open with our partners, but at the same time it works as a glue in the physical intimacy.

Intimacy is a process

We all have our histories with the attachment styles. One being raised with truly open emotional environment, one being constantly bottling up all the needs and wishes. It may sound harsh but your history shapes the way on how you perceive intimacy. 

If you’re not comfortable with emotional expression, being intimate with someone and talking about your needs and wishes can be a little awkward. There are a few key ways to feel more at ease with intimacy. Here’s how.

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Focus on the everyday spark

One of the best ways to bring intimacy into your relationship is to start doing small acts in a daily basis. Holding hands is a good start or touching him or her when you are cooking together. By starting with small acts, you’ll likely become more comfortable with intimacy and revealing your true desires to your partner.

Just talk

While you may have mastered the art of keeping quiet and pleasing others, creating an honest emotional bond requires an open mouth. It may feel awful at first (yes, we've experienced it too), but once you let your desires flow, you may find that they are received and listened to. 

More foreplay

Foreplay is bonding. When you are cuddling, hugging, kissing and touching each other, you are more connected also emotionally. It may be a good moment to share your fantasies and open up about secrets you have never told anyone. Bonding can also be made easier with our aromatherapeutic massage and body oil. Using massage and body oil with your partner can help reconnect with your partner and rebuild the trust.

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Organise us-time

As you may have realised, touching your phone is sometimes easier than taking time to your partner. Our world becomes increasingly digital and intimacy between partners is diminishing even more. Focus on giving your relationship time to be intimate. Listen to each other and have a time to share your daily happenings. Sharing more than just a long list of groceries will ultimately revitalize the intimacy in your relationship.