The end of year and holidays are approaching. Most of us are probably feeling the exhaustion after months of the pandemic and lockdowns in many parts of the world. Quite a few of us have also spent more time with our partners than we were hoping. Seeing each other in yoga and sweat pants might have made the spark to disappear.
We gathered some of our best tips on how to reignite the spark over the holidays.
Focus on the everyday spark
One of the best ways to reintroduce intimacy into your relationship is to start doing small acts in a daily basis. Holding hands is a good start or touching your partner when you are cooking together. By starting with small acts, you’ll likely become more comfortable with intimacy and revealing your true desires to your partner.
Don't stress if it doesn't come instantly
Intimacy builds over time as you connect with someone else, care for each other and become more and more comfortable with each other. There are several different intimacies – emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual, which can be all tied up together.
The tricky thing about intimacy is that it is connected with many primary emotions, such as trust and safety. When you are opening yourself up, you have to trust that the person you are with will receive them well. When we share details about our life that usually remain hidden, we are connecting in an intimate way.
This emotional intimacy helps stimulate oxytocin (aka the love hormone), which in turn allows us to trust and be more open with our partners, but at the same time it works as a glue in the physical intimacy.
Organise dedicated time for you
Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are relationships if we don't dedicate time for them regularly. It is easy to lose that spark when all you talk about with your partner is the dishes, who takes the kids to school, and what is for dinner tonight.
Schedule dedicated time with your spouse and do something you enjoy doing. Put off the phones, have deep conversations, get on the same page with your partner and have fun.
Learn your partner's love language
We all have our own love languages. For some us it is touch - we feel appreciated when our partner is touching us, for others it is actions - we couldn't be happier when our spouse brings us breakfast in bed. The so called 5 languages of love are acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, receiving gifts and quality time.
When we are understanding our partner's love language, it is easier to communicate with our partners in a way that makes them feel appreciated and loved.